Guess who just successfully learned how to drive stick shift?
ME!

I was quite surprised I was actually capable of pushing the clutch,
accelerating & switching from neutral to first gear.
Not going lie first few runs were shaky, cause I wasn't timing the
release of the clutch and accelerating the gas, but nevertheless
I CAN DRIVE STICK SHIFT NOW!

Thankfully Lawrence wasn't too worried about me burning the clutch
cause after a few test runs around the neighborhood I got the hang of it!
That's funny cause I was just mentioning to Mark when I was hanging out
with him earlier tonight that I need to learn how to drive stick shift sometime.
And I think my neighbors officially hate me because his car was
so ridiculously loud I feel kinda bad waking up the neighborhood at 4AM!

I always love this season because you can walk through the neighborhoods

look at christmas lights on the houses
and breathe in the refreshing winter air.

There's something about the holiday spirit that makes me happy :)<3
Not going to lie though, seeing this couple hold hands and take pictures
made me want to punch them in the face at how cute they were, and
it was a subtle reminder that couple should've been me and him.
But enough of that, onto the reason why I love Christmas!





















my failed attempt at jumping & high fiving haha^

yesterday was yet another day after rain and I got this amazing photo<3
I didn't even realize at the time that it looked like a heart!
I absolutely love it<3

The more I thought about it I realized how this whole time
the reasoning of I'm too late? No, You're too late.

You lost me a long time ago.
You could've made the effort towards the end
and we could've avoided this entire scenario.
You never took fault for anything or apologized
and I took the blame for as long as I could
until I got sick and tired of saying it was all my fault.
You never talked to me like you should have,
you let things remain unspoken and I was the one
with all the questions left unanswered.
You said you'd fight for it, but fighting for it
isn't about one day of emotional vulnerability;
it's being timelessly vulnerable in a relationship.
You think you did everything you could,
that you put it all out there. Well let me fill you in mister
you could've done a hell of a lot more to save us
but you didn't do shit, so next time you look in the mirror
and think I screwed us over, remember that
I was the best thing you had.
and you admitted that.

So, your loss.

and I was right.

I'm too late.